“I’m gonna be a dad”, is what my co-worker ambuished me with in the elevator a handful of mornings ago. He was the biggest supporter for my rather quick engagement with D and he has been the dear friend to me during the past 3 months of my new life that started with new title, new office and the new job.
Now, he has bought a house. How fast this has happened even makes my head spin. Why does a marriage come with so much more demand than other events in our lives? I understand that he did get the double whammy of fatherhood at the same time with the prospect of going through a rushed wedding. But graduating from school, which is just as life changing event as the next, never demanded change in personal values nor did it demand extreme change in behaviour. Having the wedding ahead of me and the married life that is to follow, I can’t help but catch myself thinking in very different light.
Of course, the whole security of permanancy adds a pleasant surprise that was never been experienced by me(something I will write about later) but what people around me are expecting from me is something I never thought I would have to worry about. Just because I’m getting married soon, doesn’t mean I have to give up what was seen as “immature”. People, parents in particular, doesn’t seem to understand that now, I have a partner in being immature at times. So I ask married couples out there, what has been demanded of you and what have you done to cope with it?
Tuesday, March 1st, 2005, 6:55 am | 
He Says | 
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3/2/2005 at 5:50 am
er. engagement?!
congrats!
3/2/2005 at 5:55 am
now that i’m over that part … i think the biggest thing is that financially, you are now responsible not just for yourself but for each other. that’s why the golden handcuffs are so much more prevalent for married couples.
owning a house is a responsibility which, whether you are married or not,carries a lot of weight because you’re officially in debt.
i don’t know that i’d expect you to be a different person or anything but there are certainly some areas where one automatically is more responsible. having said that, fiscal responsibility is still different person to person, even at the latest stages of life.