Since Sarah’s birth, the most common greeting I get are “how’s the baby?” and “how does it feel to be a Dad?”. Well, Answer to the first question changes daily, hourly even, so I won’t bother getting into that but let me try to cover the second question. And those who are already a father, please feel free to chime in with your “feelings”.
So here it goes….
I have always been semi-obsessed with identity. My identity to be more specific. I have always struggled when my idea of my own identity have changed drastically. When I went from Student to a full time professional, I went through a phase what I used to describe as a ‘Quarter Life Crisis’.
Having a daughter actually had more of an identity reshaping effect than I expected or even dreamed. In large, I think an identity change is probably the best way to describe the full impact. First week of being a Dad was overwhelming. Ranges of tiredness and frustration mixed with indescribable, completely unfamiliar sense of joy rattled my mind constantly. At one point, I couldn’t sit quietly and look at Sarah’s sleeping face because it always brought tears to my eyes.
Now, three months into my new identity, I can’t even remember what it was like not having a child and certain that I wouldn’t know what to do if I didn’t have this little life in my life.
My answer to the question, “how does it feel to be a Dad” is a simple one with all this in mind.. Being a Dad is my identity.
